His name was Ryan. I had known him for about two years. We were in band class together. I had always thought that he was so ugly. But now, sitting next to him in math class, getting to know him, I began to realize that I might like him.
He was always saying such perverted things and I thought they were disgusting. But now, I needed someone. And Ryan was there. He always asked me to give him head, but as a joke I could tell. And now, I wished he were being serious. And so when he pretended to try to come in the stall in the bathroom when I was changing, I pretended to not want him there. But I did want him. I wanted him to be my first.
But he was “just curious” and he didn’t want a relationship with a guy. He said he just wanted sex. I wanted both. But I would settle for just sex just to be with him.
Before a football game one day, we had to change and Ryan and I were the only ones in the bathroom. I knew he always went in to change before everyone else, so I ate fast and followed Ryan in. I was able to catch a peek at him once and I just wanted to touch him. We were friends, but not as close as I would like to be. So again I acted like I was going to touch him and he flinched.
He was taking off his shirt and I saw his beautiful body. His tight stomach, hairless chest, and thin body were just what I wanted. He was a little shorter than average, but that didn’t matter to me. I still wanted him right then. But as usual, nothing happened.
I was average. You could see a six-pack when I flexed it. I was about 5’7”, 149 lbs. I had brown hair and blue eyes; a normal eighteen year old white boy.
The symphonic band students had to go watch a rehearsal of the band at the college. Again we were alone and this time I just couldn’t help myself. There was no one around before the rehearsal and he was sitting right next to me. Earlier that day I punched him in his package and I could feel it. It was slightly hard and it just felt amazing. So that night at the rehearsal, I had to get another grab. I went for it and just grabbed that package. It was a beautiful second. But he jumped up and moved over and my moment was over.
A few days later, he got over my groping and we were back to being friends. And so I had to be careful that he didn’t get scared off by me. So I waited a few months until I could get him somewhere alone.
I had just gotten my license, a little late, but I got it. Ryan asked me for a ride home. So the whole day I was awaiting this little trip we would have. It was about a half hour drive to his house. So after school I waited for him by his last class and then we walked out to the parking lot. I was ready for him all day. And I knew I had to make a move.
We left school.
“Do you wanna get something to eat or something?” he said.
“Yea,” I said thankful to be getting to spend more time with him.