at Jeremy when he said, “We don’t play around on each other with…”

Ian didn’t turn to him but finished his sentence, “opposite sex, but same sex is okay.”

Ian could feel Jeremy shudder a bit, “When you say it out loud it sounds so cold and California, doesn’t it?”

Ian couldn’t make eye contact.  Jeremy came over to where he was lying and put his hand on top of Ian’s.  “Ian I don’t want to have sex with you.  You deserve more than that.  If you’ll let me, I’d like to go upstairs with you and hold you…kiss you...and if you will make love to me.”

Jeremy took a finger and brushed Ian’s cheek and turned his cheek so that Ian had to look directly in his eyes.  “I need to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.  I get the feeling no one has done that in a long time.”

Ian looked away.  “I love my wife, Ian, don’t ever believe otherwise, but you are special.  Maybe it’s not what you imagined it would be, or who it would be…”

“Or with what parts…”

Jeremy bit his lip and smiled. Ian wasn’t looking at him but he could feel it. “But I feel I made a mistake and I know you are trying real hard not to let people know how much you are hurting, and it has nothing to do with what happened last night.  So just for tonight, let me help the hurt go away?”

They sat there motionless for a long, long time.  Ian could almost hear the moon move in the sky.  Jeremy was right.  It wasn’t what he expected.  He was in tremendous amounts of pain and he needed it to stop, but would another night of sex be the answer.   

Of course not.  He turned to tell Jeremy thank you, but no.  He looked in his eyes, and saw true compassion there, even in the night sky.  He felt safe and warm and…and loved.

Ian started counting, “One…”  He saw the quizzical look on Jeremy’s face.  “Two…”, he could tell Jeremy wanted to ask what was going on, but instead just allowed Ian to say, “Three…”

Ian took Jeremy’s hand and led him to the door.  He reached and popped off the lights, then opened the door and allowed Jeremy to follow him inside.   The lights in the house were off, and Ian left them that way.  He took Jeremy’s hand and carefully led him through the house to the second floor stairs.

“I didn’t know if you had…so I brought a little…” Jeremy whispered.

“Shhh!”  Ian said and put his fingers to Jeremy’s.  Jeremy smiled and quietly followed him up the stairs.  The landing opened right up to the bedroom.  Ian went to the nightstand and reached for the remote, popping open one of the doors.  

Jeremy stepped up beside him and laid the contents of his pockets on the table.  Jeremy slipped his arms around him from behind and simply held him tight for a moment.  Ian allowed himself to melt into the other man’s body.  He could feel the well defined muscles of his chest against his back and his thighs on his thighs.   

Jeremy kissed Ian’s neck and rubbed his hands up and across Ian’s naked chest.  “I love the way you feel, Ian.  I love touching your skin.”  He pulled him even closer, close enough