for the pussy part. We hadn’t had sex in over a year. She used her cunt as a commodity to be traded for exceptional performance in the art of obedience. Bark little doggie, bark.

“Actually,” I said, my head hanging, staring at the floor, my voice quiet. “She sucks in bed. I’d rather whack off.”

James laughed and slid closer to me. He raised his hand toward my shoulder then stopped and laid it on his lap.

“Well, I can’t make you stay, but I wish you would.” He said his voice even and soft.

I sat staring at the floor, embarrassed and ashamed. I’d known him for years as Tracy’s cousin but we never spent time together until a couple of months ago. Since then he’d become my beacon in the dark hell of marriage. I looked forward to his visits and calls but Tracy’s disapproval made my time with James feel more like a clandestine love affair than a friendship. I knew his patience would run out someday and he’d quit trying. I couldn’t bare that.

I sat up straight and turned to him. “Let’s do it!” I hesitated for a moment then added, “And, I’ve got another idea. Let’s get some pizza and beer and come back here. We can watch movies or just sit and shoot the shit. Hell, if it’s all right with you I could even sleep here if I drink too much.”

His eyes widened and a huge grin spread across his face. “Are you sure? Of course you can stay here. Oh my God, Tracy will die!”

“Then I’ll finally be free.” I declared with a grin.

He slapped me lightly on the arm. “Oh, you’re evil!”

Our eyes met and I felt myself become lost in their brown depth. Words flowed from my mouth without thought. “You’re the best thing in my life right now James and I’m not going to lose our friendship because of her.”

His eyes glistened, “And you’re the best thing in mine.”

My face grew hot suddenly. What just happened? Had I just said something warm and fuzzy to another guy? I hope he didn’t get the wrong idea and kick me out.

I stood up quickly. “I mean, if two buddies can’t hang out…what’s the point right?”

“Right.” He agreed with a grin that seemed both indulgent and sad at the same time.

I called Tracy to tell her my plan. She stammered and spewed and I told her I’d see her tomorrow and hung up before she could get in another word. I thought for sure she’d call back but she didn’t.

We spent the evening eating pizza, drinking beer and talking. I couldn’t remember having enjoyed being with someone like I did James. He listened when I talked and showed a genuine interest in me and my life. I found myself opening up and telling him things I’d never told Tracy for fear of ridicule. We spoke of my marriage and how it had deteriorated.

“Well,” he said with a smile, “you can always come here. I’ll never treat you like she does.”

I thought that was an odd thing for him