me into a fit of giggles. I'm really going to miss those talks. I know it's horrible of me, but the whole week I'd been out there in their house, all I'd wanted was to go home. I wanted to be alone. Now I was home, a small studio apartment I shared with all my belongings. I missed my family though. I wished I hadn't left so quickly, leaving them to pack up Grandma's cloths, and Grandpa's books.

I dropped my bags into the living room and sat heavily on the huge blue couch I couldn't get rid of; the couch I mean; I loved laying on it. I'd had it since before I was born. I know most kids have stuffed animals or blankets that they carry with them throughout their lives, but I had a couch. It'd been in my nursery when my parents brought me home. Mom had tried the rocking chair thing with Wes when he was a baby; but she always ended up on the living room couch, rocking him and her-self back to sleep. I think, in her head, it'd been easier to just get one and put it in the room so she didn't have to go down the stairs at night. In any case, it'd stayed in my room until I turned seventeen and moved out, taking it with me. I'd had my first kiss, given my first blowjob, and came inches away from having sex for the first time on it; it was part of me.

I sighed, picking the cordless phone from its cradle on the side table, and dialed Tim's number. Tim and I had been seeing each other for three months. He'd been great to me so far, and all my weirdness. Even thought I left the country to be alone, I really didn't want to be; I needed someone around right then. I just hoped Tim was free.

"Mm hello?" someone that wasn't Tim asked.

I pulled the phone away from my ear, checking the caller I.D. just to make sure I had the right phone number, I did.

"Hi, can I speak to Tim please," I said.

I'm too polite, I should have been demanding to know who the fuck this guy was.

"He's kind of busy," the guy said and giggled.

"Busy doing what?" I growled.

Not another one. Tim was my third boyfriend that year; the other two had been cheating on me. Tim had seemed so different then the other guys I'd dated and I knew I was falling for him. Please God, not Tim.

"Sucking my dick, what the fuck is it to you?" the guy screamed into the phone. I heard the phone drop, more giggles, and then Tim came on the phone giving a horse hello.

"I'm sorry," I said, I always started apologizing when things go wrong, even when they weren't my fault.

"Oh my god, Reed, um--you see, that is," he stammered along like that for a few more seconds.

"It's okay, bye." I said as I hung up.

I put the phone on the floor in front of the couch and pushed my back against the huge cushions. My vision started to tint with gray, making everything look foggy: like it was about to start raining right there in my living room.

Seriously. There had to be something wrong with me. Why did everyone that I care