I was actively exploring gay sex with a guy I knew that lived down the street. He knew more about gay sex than I did, but was still a novice, and things were mainly rushed oral.

I always felt like there was more to it, more feeling and connection, more than just the physical level. I wanted to learn more, but everything was totally secret. No one knew Scott and I had a sexual relationship. Scott introduced me to Steve, who worked at a bookstore in the mall. Scott explained that it was fine if Steve knew about us because he was gay, and could get me whatever books on gay sex I wanted, and he and Scott had a couple nights together in the past.

When I met Steve I was very nervous because no one could know about Scott and I. Scott explained what I was looking for. Steve talked to me in the office so we could talk more openly. Steve did not look or act, like a gay person. He was also very laid back, easy to talk to. Steve had some suggestions what I should read and would order them. I started to feel a connection with him.

I talked to him a few times before the books he ordered came in. Every time I talked to him, things were more magnetic. We talked every day, and the attraction and sexual tension we felt was obvious to us. He asked Scott if we were serious, Scott told him no not at all.

The order came in and I went to pick it up. Steve and I sat in the office and looked through the book together, he gently explained some of the things in the book, and what it felt like. Steve was almost four years older than I was. He was single, just got his own apartment. He told me how it was on the end of the building, and his bedroom was on the outside wall. No upstairs or downstairs tenants. The closes tenant was an elderly lady who didn't hear well and stayed to herself. He said I was very welcome there anytime. I told him I would love that. Then he leaned in and kissed me. I felt a thousand emotions all at once. He locked the office door, came back over to me, our hands were all over each other, everything was rushed and very quiet. We were both totally naked and he told me how much he wanted this to happen. Steve had a stronger build than Scott, he had a great looking chest, and being in his arms and against his skin felt incredible. I went down on him, he was a couple inches or so larger than Scott. We 69ed on the carpet, oral sex was completely different with him.

We rushed to get dressed. He had to get back out on the floor, we kissed good-bye, and he would call me when he could talk freely. We had a second encounter the next day, then a third a couple days after that. He reached for his jeans, and said I was really hoping for this, and pulled out a tube of anal lube. I had anal sex with Scott a few times, Steve was bigger than Scott, but I trusted him and wanted him so much. We were trying to be totally quiet. He was skilled and careful, and I gave myself to him. Then he went down on me, and I came fairly fast. Steve