make another offer. This time I would take him up on it, just to see if the release would quiet the fire in inside of me that wouldn’t seem to die. I had never had the desire to be with another man before, but I was searching. I needed a release that I couldn’t give myself or satisfy with the series of one night stands that had become all too common.

A deer jumped from its hiding place in the trees and darted to the other side of the road. Like the sound from the lake a few moments earlier, it snapped me back to reality. Sitting there in the car, I suddenly knew that what I needed was to make love, not fuck. I knew that making love meant a commitment, and I also knew that I was not ready for not did I have the desire for the commitment that came with women.

I felt the hardness in my shorts. I knew that what was needed was the commitment that came with making love to another man, the understanding and personal space that came with that kind of physical pleasure and the time was now.

I opened the car door and locked it tight, leaving it right there, just out of sight of the main road and looked at the trail through the woods behind, now ahead of me. Slipping my hands into my pockets, I walked straight ahead, no fear, no desperation, just acceptant of the fact that everything I needed lie ahead.

It was a fifteen minute walk in the night. I took my time, knowing that this was a huge step, but also sure that what I was doing was not in vain. I knew Kent so well, and replaying the evening back from the first bite of dinner to the stars on a bed of blue sky to the dance ending in a kiss, I knew in my aching soul that Kent was ready as well. In a little while, I was fully prepared to know my friend in a new way and had no doubt that by morning we would be lovers.

I punched the security code into the key pad I had used so many times before that I knew it by heart. I could see light in the front room and upstairs. As I opened the door and let myself in, Kent was standing there in the middle of his living room surprised but not shocked.

“I didn’t hear the car. Everything alright?” He asked.

“I walked. The car will be fine until morning.” I said and looked up at the loft on the second floor. I could see the bed was already turned down and there was a single light on in an unseen corner from where he was standing.

I sat in a chair and removed my boots, placing them by the door, next to Kent’s shoes and punched the security code into the keypad. Kent flipped the downstairs lights off and waited until I was just behind him. I took his hands and he led me up the stairs. No words even needed to be exchanged; everything had been said that needed to be. It was time. It was just time.

We stood facing each other for a moment, until I just reached out and began to unbutton Kent’s shirt. Kent put his hands around my waist and watched me exposed his chest and push the fabric