As it was a hot summer's day, I decided to eat my lunch in the park. I left the office and was walking down the High Street towards the park gates, when an ancient gypsy woman blocked my way and tried to sell me love potions.

She handed me a twist of paper and demanded £5, I suggested £1, and we settled for £2.50. I continued on my way down the High Street into the park, up the hill where I sat down under the large oak trees. I started eating my cheese and pickle rolls and was about to pour my can of diet coke into a plastic cup when I decided to examine my purchase, which consisted of a small amount of grey powder in a twist of paper. I poured the powder into the plastic cup and read the words on the paper. "1. Mix the contents with a small amount of water 2. Drink it all down while thinking about the man who you wish to seduce 3. Say his name out loud 3 times. I hoped that the charm would work just as well with Coca Cola as with water, and after mixing the contents, drank them down, whilst thinking of sexy Denzil controlling traffic. I shouted his name 3 times and waited, at first nothing happened and I thought that I had wasted my money, when suddenly below me in the High Street things started to happen. The first thing was that the traffic began to come to a halt as Denzil abandoned his traffic duties and started running down the High Street, stripping his clothes off as he ran. First his helmet, then his jacket, then as he turned into the park gates his shirt. By the time he had ran up the hill towards where I was laying, he was completely naked and sporting his own personal huge black truncheon.

There was a tremendous to do in the town. I told the police that I did not wish to press charges or sue them, after obviously keeping quiet about gypsy and the love potion. I suppose that the moral of the story is find out how much your would be lover