Being the middle kid in the family has its good points and its bad points. I always had someone to boss around and I also had someone to teach me a few things.

My older brother Lanny is now living away from home but when he was still at home he was a constant source of learning for me. My dad and mom separated when I was about ten years old so Lanny, being two years older than me, was a great support.

I've always prided myself on controlling my emotions. Like I have said, I am all boy and boys don't cry. Still when my parents announced that they were getting a divorce, I can remember everything that was happening at the moment. We had finished dinner and me, Lanny and my younger brother Paul, were watching TV in the family room. Mom and dad interrupted the Simpsons saying they needed to talk to us. They dropped the bomb that dad was going to live in another place because they weren't getting along. We knew there were arguments and everything but a lot of families have argument and manage to stay intact. Not so here though. It was not something that all the tears and "but whys" could change.

Paul was eight years old and he started crying almost the minute it was announced. Mom was in tears too but dad was adamant, the marriage couldn't be saved. I went to bed early that night because nothing on TV could have saved the evening from total destruction. We had a four-bedroom house so all of us had our own room. I lay there in bed trying not to cry but it was no use and that unthinkable tear finally made its way down my cheek. I could hear Lanny throwing shit around in his room but by the time I knocked on his door at midnight, I could tell he had been crying too.

We decided to check on Paul since he was the youngest. Lanny said that it had occurred to him that we had to take care of one another for sure now. He told me that he'd kill me though if I told Paul he had been crying. I sort of felt the same way. I was not about to give up my tough-kid image either so we agreed that neither of us would let on that we had been crying.

To this day there is something about letting my emotions show that gags me. I can't do it.
Loving Brian has started some changes in me that I almost fear. If I were to lose Brian now, all bets would be off and I would fall into a million pieces. I know this because even not seeing Brian for a few days had taken its toll on me. As I lay in bed, I imagine sometimes that he is just a dream and it frightens me. I get hard thinking about how cute he is and I have never been one to keep my hands off my dick when it’s hard.

I slipped off my shoes and then my jeans and sat on the edge of the bed in just my shorts and sox. Before I met Brian I had such a love affair with my cock. Without bragging I am pretty big and my dick is hard to ignore even when it’s soft. Once my jeans are off it’s going to get hard because the weight of it next to my