“…This just in – there is a major winter storm warning in effect this afternoon for all of the North Shore area. Heavy snow accumulation of 12-14 inches expected over the next 8 hours. Residents are encouraged to stay off the roads and indoors so as not to hamper emergency crews. More from our radio weatherman, Will Dowser…”

Wonderful. In the words of the poet E. E. Cummings, just “puddle-wonderful”. It had been snowing off-and-on for the last week, and we already had over a foot of snow on the ground, and yet more coming. As if this entire week had not been pressure enough, and as if everything else had not gone wrong, now this too. Happy New Year!

I was sitting in my office cubicle trying to decide whether to cry like a baby or start smashing furniture. It was the second week in January, which every year is Hell Week for my department (payroll), of which I am assistant manager. All of the payroll and taxation adjustments for the new year had to be in the system by midnight tonight – Friday – so they would populate in time to be tested before the first pay ran early next week. This process was usually stressful enough, but this year we were short-handed, and both myself and the Payroll Manager were new to our positions. So far, everything we had tested had come out wrong, and we had just about 10 hours to get it right.

At that moment, the my computer gave out the audible alarm for a System Alert. This is used for emergencies when everyone in the company needs to be contacted immediately. My computer screen went blank, and then our company president’s lovely visage appeared as he sat behind his massive desk. His desk was not nearly as cluttered with papers as mine was. He said, “Good afternoon.” This message is for all employees in the downtown area. Due to the increasingly sever weather conditions, the Mayor has declared a state of emergency, for which all businesses will be required to close as soon as possible. For the health and safety of our employees, we will comply with this request. Please close down whatever you are doing as fast as possible, turn off all computers and systems, and go home for the day. Your supervisors will be instructed that you will be paid as usual for a full day. Also, for all of those who came in today on the Bayshore Train, please be advised that, due to icing on the tracks, the train has been shut down. I ask that all employees be aware of their fellow employees who may be stranded, and help out with car-pool arrangements. Thank you and enjoy the weekend.”

With that, the president’s image faded to that of the corporate logo, and the screen went blank.

More wonderfulness – of course, I had ridden the train in that morning as usual, and now I had no way to get home. I am single, with no family in the city, and so had no one to call. At that moment, the Payroll Manager, my boss, Tony Solacio, walked into my cubicle and slumped in the chair next to my desk, his head in his hands. “Jeff,” he said, raising his head to look directly at me with those huge dark eyes of his, “What in Hell are we going to do now?”

I looked back at him as I slumped in my own chair, “Damned if