Farewell Pete, Welcome Josef
© Alex Carr 2007

“You OK Hogey? You look awfully worried”

“It’s just that there’s no word from Pete, he should have reported in a day ago, Mike.”

“Well you know how it is over there in Iraq“

But it was unlike Pete not to keep me updated. He was doing a big report in Iraq for Sky news and I was about to join him, but until I hear I should stay put, I thought.

What should I do, hang around for another day or so, see if he contacts or get the hell out there and see what’s going on? I had to think seriously. Pete was something very special to me and I would feel sick to lose him. I’d go for it, that’s what I would do. Arrange a flight immediately, got the clearance from the chief editor so all was go.

It was quite a rough flight because storms were brewing and the pilot said we would have to land at this private airfield and stop over ‘till the storm passed, We were flying in a 16-seater Cessna Executive. Just the two of us.

When we landed the pilot, Josef an Albanian, asked me if I’d like a drink with him in the small clubhouse, he had fixed up a room for us to stay overnight so that we could make a fresh start in the morning.

It was when we were enjoying that drink that I had a text through from Pete’s outfit who said they had lost him but were out searching.

I was almost in tears and I guess I showed it. Probably it was this that told Josef, Pete and I were an item. He was so understanding though and helped me face up to what might be, what could be.

“I miss him so much, Josef. He is special to me.”

Somehow it seemed Josef and I were on the same wavelength, he was telling me how last year he had lost a dear one in a plane crash in Albania, he was quick to say he was not the pilot on that occasion, but I discovered too he was bisexual like me. This helped because he understood completely how I felt and he was a great comfort to me. We’d had a few drinks, well at least I had because Josef said he needed to restrict his input because he was piloting the next day.

“Come and join me tonight?” he asked without a flinch as if it was the most natural question to ask. “We can comfort and console one another, it will help I think, Hogey?

I did not reply at once, this came out of the blue and I wanted to be sure what I was about, I am usually a one guy sort fella and the idea of sleeping with another guy, other than Pete that is, seemed a little wrong.

But I needed the comfort, I missed Peter terribly, emotionally and physically, he was a great and wonderful lover but now Josef was sitting by me in the concealed corner of the bar, his firm hand running along the top of my thigh as if instinctively - as if he was Pete in my deep thoughts, I parted my legs which was almost like an open invitation. As cool as you like, his eyes staring directly into mine - with meaning and consideration - I felt the gentle squeeze and it was so very good