I had to remember to send Marc a giant bouquet of flowers tomorrow a huge bouquet of dead ugly flowers, as a big F you for the toad of a man he set me up with, I thought to myself. What the hell was he thinking? This guy was the total opposite of everything I was looking for, he was short, chunky, dorky, and on top of everything else he had the audacity to be arrogant. Yeah, he thought he was hot stuff. I should know - I had just spent the longest dinner of my life with him. The whole night I listened to stories of how he was so great, and how everyone was after him.

This was exactly the reason why I never did blind dates. They were always a disaster, but Marc had been so persistent about this guy. He’d heard great things about him, he was just what I needed he’d said, yeah right, some friend he was. No wonder he hadn’t gone out with him himself.

“You’re not having a very good time are you?” his monotone voice snapped me back to reality.

“No, this is nice, I’m sorry I was just thinking about some things I have to take care of tomorrow.” I tried to smile but I knew it was coming off as forced. He had to notice that this date had not gone well. The only thing going for me right now was the check, which was on its way. I would pay then I’d be out I thought.

“Well I have to remember to thank Marc, you’re definitely someone I’ll be keeping in touch with,” he said to me with that cheesy grin of his.

“Funny I was just thinking how much I would like to thank Marc for this evening too.” I hadn’t meant to come off so blatantly sarcastic but the idea of staying in touch with him was beyond repulsing. Besides, from his reaction, I didn’t think he was the type to get sarcasm.

The check came and he insisted on paying, which I half-heartedly refused, after all that was the least he could do. We finished paying and left the crowded restaurant. With any luck, there would be no one in the restaurant that would recognize me.

I didn’t relax until we were in his car and on the way back to my place. He had insisted on picking me up, and since at the time I didn’t know what a troll of a man he was, I had agreed. I closed my eyes and sat back; maybe if I pretended to rest he wouldn’t try to talk to me until we got to my house. This seemed to do the trick and soon there was total silence.

However, the silence didn’t last for very long and soon I was interrupted by the sound of his heavy breathing. Damn could this guy get any weirder? I thought. I turned to look at him, but instead my eyes went straight to the massive hard on he slowly stroked. My jaw dropped in complete shock, what was he thinking? And just how big was that thing? I had never seen anything that large. Who knew such a little man could be packing such a large tool. I stared in amazement at the thick shaft in front of me; it had to at least be 12inches long, I thought. Those things only existed in porn movies, and adult toy stores.

“You