out - how I'd felt about being spanked, fucked, dominated by him. How I'd actually enjoyed it. I told him, in rather more graphic detail than I'd told Adam, what had happened to me at that cruising ground. I told him how turned on I had been seeing Adam getting a good hiding, how I loved his bottom. I described in detail what had happened when I got Adam back to my flat. How he'd told me he loved me. Everything. Mr. R. listened patiently, though I could tell he was aroused by my descriptions.

"So you see," I finished up, with tears in my eyes, "A week ago I knew exactly who and what I was. Now I haven't a clue. Am I gay, straight or bisexual? Do I like to be bossed or to boss?"

(The terms 'top' and 'bottom', 'master' and 'slave' weren't in my vocabulary, in that sense, then.)

"What and who the hell am I?"

"Oh, Chris", he said, tenderly, putting his arm around me and kissing me gently on the cheek.

"Why do you need to put a label on yourself? You know that great disco song, 'I am what I am'?"

I nodded.

"Well, actually it's from a musical where this drag queen is rejected but defiantly sings that song. And you are what you are. You are your 'own special creation' and what you are 'needs no excuses.' You only need one label and that is 'Chris', a very special person. You're a kind, decent, honest, if a little impetuous, young man - and absolutely gorgeous to boot."

That was the second time I'd been called gorgeous that day. Steady on, I might begin to believe it!

"But it's your body and what you choose to do with it or have done to it is up to you and, as long as you don't hurt anyone, anything is fine. You have to remember, though, that there is a difference between discipline and getting sexual pleasure from pain. Yes, discipline does hurt, but it is designed to make someone a better person, to show him the error of his ways and ultimately to make him happier. That is why you and Adam have been disciplined this week. And I think it has worked. Yes?"

"Yes, Sir. But I have found pleasure in it."

"So be it. Enjoy it. Every young man should have at least one spanking in his formative years. He needs to know what will happen if he steps out of line but also to find out if he enjoys it - after all, think of all that pleasure he could be missing!"

"So how did you get into spanking," I dared to ask him, "it seems to me as if you enjoy dishing it out."

"Well for many years I was a housemaster in a rather exclusive school. I always believed in the adage 'Spare the rod and spoil the child'. And corporal punishment was always used in the better schools. Then the rules all changed and we weren't allowed to touch the little darlings. Anyway one day, I ‘forgot’ the rules and gave this lad a good caning. Oh, he deserved it well enough. He was a really nasty bully. I knew all the younger boys were in fear of him. One day he even put a young lad in hospital. I was furious."

"Tell me more, please."

"I knew he was a strapping 16 year old, so I had two prefects in attendance