[mychael_black]

Negativity and pessimism can kill a relationship, or at least wound it so much that repair is questionable.

Last night, I told my partner of six years that we needed time apart. She's going to stay with her best friend in Virginia sometime in the beginning of July. Or at least that's the plan.

What scares me...is that it didn't hurt. She was hurt. But I didn't feel the least bit sad.

I've said several times that I'm done, though I've never said it to her. This has been building up, brewing for two years or more. Several factors have led to it: negativity and pessimism on her part even when I try to keep a clear head and keep my hopes up about things, her refusal to go on anti-depressants when she desperately needs them (hell, mine make me sick, and yet I'm taking them), my loss of attraction and intimacy, her habit of getting defensive when I bring up the lack of a job on her part (going on two years that she's not worked steadily; other alternative is for her to play babysitter and ME to work outside the home, then my writing and editing get shoved back and I have less time for living than I do now), and God knows what else.

So. Yeah. It wasn't easy. But finally just saying it--saying what needed to be said for two years--has taken a load off of my chest.
_________________
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[WillYUM]

good for you for standing up for yourself. most people would have let it stewed forever rather than confront their partner.

and maybe it didn't hurt because you were mentally ready for this to happen.

now that you've made it this far with your seperation its time to sit back and wait it out a little bit.

best of luck to you though.
_________________
"I love it when people give up chocolate for lent...OHHH just like being nailed to a cross...hey God, get over here we gotta open up the Pearly Gates, this bitch is going like 40 days without a Kit Kat Bar!"

[mychael_black]

I think I was, too. Think I have been for a while now.

Thanks, hun. And yeah, time to wait it out and see if things are salvageable, or if it's time to walk away completely. Only time will tell.
_________________
"There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man."
~ Novalis, German Lyric Poet, 1772 - 1801 ~
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[James Buchanan]

Sometimes you have to just say it's time. Good luck baby. You got about 10k ways to get ahold of me if you need to talk.

Love ya.
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[mychael_black]

Love you, too. Thanks.
_________________
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~ Novalis, German Lyric Poet, 1772 - 1801 ~
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[vashtan]

Sorry to hear ... then again, sayign that is obeying convention. It's realy just change we're scared of, and if this means your writing gets more space, it's a win/win. Maybe, just maybe, that's the shock that catapults her into a new stage, too. In any case, good luck with the turn-out, and all my best to you (and your stories).
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[mychael_black]

Thanks. I'm hoping it provokes some change, too--in both of us.
_________________
"There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man."
~ Novalis, German Lyric Poet, 1772 - 1801 ~
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[WillYUM]

change is an amazing thing when you want it, and fucking devastating when you dont.
_________________
"I love it when people give up chocolate for lent...OHHH just like being nailed to a cross...hey God, get over here we gotta open up the Pearly Gates, this bitch is going like 40 days without a Kit Kat Bar!"

[mychael_black]

*nods* So true.
_________________
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~ Novalis, German Lyric Poet, 1772 - 1801 ~
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[WillYUM]

but i think id much rather be single and happy then with someone and miserable, even if being on your own is difficult.
_________________
"I love it when people give up chocolate for lent...OHHH just like being nailed to a cross...hey God, get over here we gotta open up the Pearly Gates, this bitch is going like 40 days without a Kit Kat Bar!"

[mychael_black]

I've often thought the same thing, really. Still do. Not sure I'm even cut out for a relationship anymore.
_________________
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~ Novalis, German Lyric Poet, 1772 - 1801 ~
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[WillYUM]

you dont really need to be dependent on someone to have a relationship, get something casual going.
_________________
"I love it when people give up chocolate for lent...OHHH just like being nailed to a cross...hey God, get over here we gotta open up the Pearly Gates, this bitch is going like 40 days without a Kit Kat Bar!"

[mychael_black]

Pretty much. And I don't handle clingy well, which is where my last few have ended up. But how do you break that to someone gently, that you feel smothered? We're with each other 24/7, and frankly, I need time to actually MISS her before all love is gone.
_________________
"There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man."
~ Novalis, German Lyric Poet, 1772 - 1801 ~
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[WillYUM]

ive never broken up with anyone, but ive told a lot of close friends to shove off and never talk to me again because it got to that point where we were like a 'couple'.

i say just be blunt. it may hurt, but its better then giving false hope.
_________________
"I love it when people give up chocolate for lent...OHHH just like being nailed to a cross...hey God, get over here we gotta open up the Pearly Gates, this bitch is going like 40 days without a Kit Kat Bar!"

[mychael_black]

Yeah. I'm not exactly known for being...gentle when it comes to stuff like that. LOL
_________________
"There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man."
~ Novalis, German Lyric Poet, 1772 - 1801 ~
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