[bigboi]

Does anyone else struggle with their sexual orientation? I mean the whole knowing thing. My boyfriend is right now. He even asked me how I defined being gay.
He says he first had those feelings for guys in college. He goes back and forth with his girlfriend, being straight, saying he might be gay, no he isn't gay at all.

All of this is difficult for me. I had feelings for the same sex start around thirteen. I always felt like I would rather be dead than gay. I know that sounds odd to admit on this site, it just is really hard as my family all feel that homosexuality is , for a better word, gross.

I guess I am wondering about the knowing part. I mean, I have had sex with the opposite gender and find it amazing. I know at the most I must be bi..yet my boyfriend wonders still, even though he has feelings for both..which he really is. Do you have to be gay, to like the same sex? Can you be straight? Are people really bi? Or is it fear of being gay?

I am really confused, any thoughts on the subject would be appreciated.

[Philmore]

Hey Bigboi, Wow that's a lot to chew on...

For me, it hasn't really ever been much of a question. I guess I was a teenager when I 'found out', but I was never really attracted to girls at all, so I didn't deal with much confusion.

I was, however, very fortunate to grow up in a family and a community that was very accepting, and even supportive, of the homosexual lifestyle. I have an uncle who is gay and i think he had 'softened' up my dad before I ever came along! And, even though I'm in the south, I'm in a town with a large gay population, so really, there isn't nearly as much of a 'negative stigma' here as maybe in some other places.

I guess what I'm saying is, In my opinion, the pressures of an unaccepting family or community can go a long way toward building this sort of confusion in someone who may be struggling with not only determining his identity, but also accepting it.

Best of luck to both you and your partner.

[mychael_black]

Philmore's right: the support (or lack of it) of family, friends, and community can go a long way in how comfortable a person is with their own sexuality.

For me, I've always been an oddball in everything I do. I've been with guys from the time I lost my virginity at 13, and even though I've had chances to be with other women, I wasn't attracted to the women I was around at those times. There's only been one woman that I would've done anything with, and the attraction was mutual, but due to our marriages at the time, we never pursued each other. (I have kissed a woman, but nothing more.)

My dad is homophobic, especially since my mom and her partner got together 16 years ago. He's eased up, I think, but not completely. With my mom, however, I've had nothing but loving support for whatever I do/am. I don't think there was ever a doubt in my mind that I was bi. Yeah, I MUCH prefer men, but I'm still attracted to women as well.
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[WichitaSeven]

Well, i think i'm a lot younger than many of the other posters on this board - i just turned 19 a few weeks ago.

I started college in August. and it has been a real eye-opening experience. I've been pretty certain that i'm gay for the past few years, but I've always had to keep it 'under wraps'. I haven't come out to my parents, and I don't know if i ever will. It'll probably be some christmas a few years from now and mom will have had one too many white russians and she'll just blurt out in front of the entire extended family "Jason are you a queer?"

But here, being at college (Kansas - go jayhawks!), its' like a whole different world. I feel so completely comfortable in my own skin now. its so exciting. a night and day difference to how i was in high school.

so i guess what i'm saying, is i agree with Kay and Philmore. It really helps to be in an environment that supporst you.

[creechy]

im bi, i was always attracted to girls but i started getting interested in men when i was in secondary school, i matured before most of the other people in my year, and i found myself having quick peeks at them and their physique, to compare to that of my own. later on i started to become attreacted to them, im not sure if it was curiosity that formed into a physical attraction or wether it was just the form in which it choose to manifest itself at first. Before i knew for sure i was bi i never truely understood the " i just knew" reason, but now i can see it and its very true, for me anyway.

[curiouscub]

I too am probably one of the youngest on here. I am 18 and I started college in August in South Carolina. I have not yet come out to my parents yet because they are very closed minded and I could be kicked out of the house. But when I'm at school (I'm a commutor, dad's orders) I have a blast. I am gay, and all my friends now it. I am thankful that i have friends like them. They are supportive, and very caring. I have known since I started high school that I was gay because I always had been attracted to guys. Things I saw in the locker room turned me on, so I went in search for more. I'm gay and proud of it. But I just wish I had the family to support me.

[JMH]

[DirtyLittleSecret]

I've always known I was attracted to boys I just never knew there was a term for it until I got older. Even in second grade I had a little boyfriend...that's what you get when you atten an all boys private school

[mychael_black]

There's a story there...

(Fuuuuuck...did I mention yet that your avatar is distracting as hell??)
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[bardohio]

[mychael_black]

LOL Thanks, hun. (I'm thinkin' of changing it again. Will have to go through my avs and see what I've got. )

Yeah, to get technical about it, guess you could say that I'm bi. My partner is MtF transgendered. However, she's the only female that I'm readily attracted to. I mean, I see women I think look good, but it's not necessarily attraction. Now...men? Lord, I love men. But I don't see them from a woman's point of view; it's the man inside who wants them.

Guess either way you look at it, I'm queer as a football bat, and somehow, I think I've always been.
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[James Buchanan]

But we like you that way.
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http://James-Buchanan.com

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http://www.phaze.com
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[mychael_black]

*smiles* Thanks, love. I'm rather partial to you, too.
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[Trionics]

Hmmm this is a difficult one as I think I am still in that experiementing stage of things. (to be honest have been for longer than I can remember) My personal situation (living with g/f and a 2yr old) has never really helped matters.

But saying that those times that I could have done something about it I ended up having the worst experiences with men that never helped. Im now in a position where I want to do more and learn more with men than I should do in my position.

I know what it is to feel a hard throbbing cock in my mouth and the feeling that you get when you suck it off to the point that u r rewarded with the sweet juices only a man can give. and to be honest I LOVE IT. but still I have nerves about meeting up with guys and these cause me to find excuses for not going to meets etc etc etc but I need to find the way or person that would stop me from doing this so I can truely learn what it is to truely give yourself to a guy.

So for me I would say that I am bi but still trying to find that one experience that would truely let me know how I feel about guys,.

[mychael_black]

Here's to hoping that you find what you're looking for, hun.
_________________
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~ Novalis, German Lyric Poet, 1772 - 1801 ~
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